After a long break, the 'small' mind was blessed with a post from the 'big' mind :) Here it is...
Over a period of 4 years (that ended last December), I was working (apparently tirelessly) on my Ph.D. The topic was fascinating - intellectual property protection for agricultural seeds in India (OK - it was fascinating for ME at least :D!) What made the research all the more exciting (for me) was the fact that it was somehow connected with Sri Sri's vision of promoting
Zero Budget Organic Farming using traditional seeds.
The thesis journey was in itself a bundle of miracles and brain waves - every breakthrough in the data analysis, every new idea, theory, understanding, insight, came out of a space beyond my intellect - indeed, in these times, I was aware more than ever of how 'I am not the doer.' Yet, as I drew closer and closer to completing my thesis, a subtle feeling took over my consciousness. It started as a confidence and a resolve - "I am doing some important work, I need to give it my 100% effort and enthusiasm." Over time however, it transmogrified into: '
I am doing something important, so
I am important, and I should get due importance and recognition." With this feeling, came a heaviness. A burden in my head and my heart - "I have to live up to the expectations of my family, friends, colleagues, my Guru(!). I have to work and work hard for this 'important' cause. I have to make sure that this work reaches far and wide and has a big impact. Only then will I be truly using the skills and talents that the divine has blessed me with!"
I was perhaps at a peak of feeling this 'importance' (and the accompanying heavy weight on my head and heart) when I had the opportunity to visit Sri Sri who was at
Bad Antogast for a weekend. I was fully prepared to tell him all about my research and how much its findings would support Sri Sri's vision of Organic Farming. Another part of me was thinking that "maybe I don't need to tell him anything! He knows everything already - so he will just shower me with a lot of love and attention as an indication that what ever I am doing in life right now is great and I should keep going forward." :) I was also dreaming about how he might tell everyone what a wonderful job I was doing, and how everyone in the Satsang would then smile at me with awe and admiration. What happened, however, was something quite different.
Sri Sri met everyone with a great deal of love and affection (as always) and gave everyone copious amounts of
prasad and
laddoos. I, on the other hand, didn't get so much as a glance from him :( I was devastated. My ego was getting crushed under its own weight and the resulting pain was almost unbearable. No matter how hard I tried to attract Guruji's attention, he kept turning the other way! I left his meeting room feeling hopeless and miserable, my tail well between my legs (in fact so far behind that it was not to be seen at all :(
Early in the spiritual path I had heard that it is very difficult for a Guru to ignore his devotee/disciple. I had also heard that if a Guru ignores you, it is for a very specific reason - there is something subtle but profound behind that. No one ever told me though what exactly it means when a Guru ignores you - what is the message he is giving? A million thoughts raced through me - maybe I was not doing my work 100%? Maybe I was too absorbed in my work and was not giving enough attention to my other responsibilities? Maybe my work was not really useful to his vision? Maybe many people are doing similar work? Finally, when I was able to settle back into some sort of mental silence, a different thought came to me - So what if my work is important? So what if it is unimportant? What if my work and I are not important at all? What if I am not born for any great or 'important' purpose on this planet? The sum and substance of numerous pieces of spiritual wisdom that had been coming my way over the last several months (which I was conveniently ignoring or overlooking) came flooding back into my memory - our lives are not even a dust speck in this vast universe. The time that we spend on this planet is like a microfraction of a second when compared to the infinite time for which this universe has and will continue to exist. In this universe, my work is insignificant. More importantly, 'I' am insignificant!
Quite contrary to what one might expect, this memory (or realization?) did not fill me with a sense of being useless. Instead, it lifted off the heavy weight of 'importance' that I was carrying around in my head and heart. I again felt a sense of lightness and belongingness to everyone around me. The judgment of whether or not they were doing something as 'important' as I was, left me. A deep feeling of joy and confidence, devoid of ego and feverishness dawned on me. It felt like I had finally escaped from a golden cage! I also went back to my thesis with a renewed sense of enthusiasm, this time unaccompanied by the pressure and weight of 'importance.'
This morning, as I browsed through the various quotes and Q&As from Sri Sri on facebook, I came across this question: "Guruji, when you ignore us, what does it mean?" Guruji's answer was simple: "When you think you are important, you will be ignored! Got it?" I laughed and laughed. What a simple and effective way of bringing a devotee back to innocence and simplicity :)
PS: Guruji says that spiritual knowledge is not an end in itself - it is a means to an end. What the 'end' is, I am not sure. But at other times in my life, when I have felt utterly useless, Guruji has showered me with praises and given me 'important' tasks to do. During these times, the sum and substance of the knowledge I received was the opposite: never forget that everyone on this planet, including you, are unique. You are here for a unique and important purpose. So feel proud and happy and do your work with confidence - knowing that you are the chosen one. Chosen to be an instrument of much needed transformation.
So here's to the importance of being 'important.' And also to the utter
unimportance of it :)
Today's
unimportant important recipe:
Vegan mousse au Chocolat
This recipe is much awaited (and therefore important) - many have asked me for this recipe because its a really healthy dessert option - rich in calcium and iron. It is however, just another dessert, one of thousands to choose from on this planet (& so its unimportant). But who cares about its importance? I love it and so will you :)
Ingredients:
For the Pudding:
120 ml rice milk, oat milk or soy milk
50 ml thick coconut milk
3/4 tsp agar agar powder
Other ingredients:
20-22 large medjool dates (skin and seeds removed)
4 heaped tablespoons raw unsweetened chocolate powder (I love the Govinda brand - see
here)
1 tablespoon agave syrup (optional)
Method
Make the pudding: heat the rice/soy/oat milk and coconut milk to almost boiling point. Add the agar agar powder to the milk while stirring it rapidly with a balloon whisk till the agar is well blended in and has no lumps. Bring the heat down to medium or low and let simmer while stirring occasionally, for about 2 minutes. (If lumps form, blend the whole pudding mix in a high speed blender and then bring it back to the stove, bring the mix to a boil and then simmer on low to medium heat for about 2 mins). Let the pudding cool at room temperature (or if you are in a hurry, use a basin of ice water to cool it quickly) until quite thick and stiff (you should be able to cut it into cubes and scoop the cubes out without them breaking).
Put the pudding cubes, dates, chocolate powder and agave syrup into a high speed blender or food processor. Blend on high speed for about 5-6 minutes or until all the ingredients have blended into a smooth thick paste. Serve with fresh strawberries. Enjoy!
PS: Did you know? Raw chocolate is an amazing source of calcium and protein! 100g of the raw unsweetened chocolate powder (the above recipe uses about 50g) has an whopping 132 mg of Calcium and 21.7 g of protein!
