Dispassionate Enthusiasm (Why do I love cooking?)

As is clear from my blog, I love cooking. However, over the past couple of weeks, the question "why do I love cooking?" has been coming back to my mind repeatedly. Several answers also suggested themselves to me: because its fun, its a creative outlet, it makes my mind come to the present moment, it is relaxing etc. etc. While all these (answers) seemed, at least to some extent, true, they were not making the question go away. And so I kept thinking and perhaps contemplating again and again - why do I love cooking? On the lovely Saturday morning last week, a new answer came to me - I love coking because I can see the results immediately! I can taste the food, smell it, see the expression on people's faces when they eat it, immediately get feedback either on how much they love the food or how to improve the recipe. What ever be the result, there was for sure an immediate tangible result - either praise or a concrete suggestion to improve (If people did not voluntarily give feedback, I could always fish it out of them with a simple question - "Did you like the food?" :D). So was the expectation or certainty of a (positive) result the reason for my love of cooking? I told myself that at the end of the day (to put all these complex thoughts in a simple way), I just like making people happy :) and thats not a bad thing at all... so what ever be the reason why I love cooking, I should just keep doing it and keep making people happy! :) Following this train of thought, I sternly put the question "Why do I love cooking" out of my mind and continued dreaming up a new recipe in the kitchen.

On Sunday, after a long relaxing day next to the beautiful Ostersee near Munich, for no good reason, I felt a little low on prana (Sanskrit for "subtle life force energy"). As is always the case, with the low prana, came several unnecessary negative thoughts. I started questioning the things I do and whether I do them well enough and most importantly, is there any point to my doing them? What is the result of all my actions? Am I an "effective" person? Are my actions effective (in achieving the desired outcome)? Am I skillful enough? Is my PhD going anywhere? Am I a good wife, mom and daughter? Am I a good enough Yoga teacher? If I am a good teacher, why arent people regular in attending the classes?

My (messenger from Guruji) husband, immediately noticed my abnormal mood (even though I had said nothing... or perhaps BECAUSE I was saying nothing for a change ;D). He asked very lovingly as usual - "Are you feeling OK? Whats on ur mind" After a few half-hearted attempts at not telling him, I finally dove full swing into my "self-pity" monologue telling him how I felt I was a totally ineffective person who is most often unable to accomplish desired goals. He listened very carefully to my moaning and sobbing and then said - "well, this is just not true! You are very effective and good at everything you do. Your only problem is that you want results immediately and are perhaps too output oriented." He reminded me of one of spirituality's golden principles - dispassion! He said, "you know, Guruji says that while we should be enthusiastic in our actions (and give our 100% to everything we do), we must be dispassionate about the fruits of our actions. So just remind yourself over and over again - dispassion is the key." :)

This little reminder from my hubby dear of a simple yet profound truth immediately made my mind calmer. Interestingly, the question that had gripped my mind came immediately back - why do I love cooking? Perhaps because of the knowledge capsule I had just consumed, the answer I had dismissed the previous day acquired a new meaning - I cook to make people happy and this is not bad at all... but under this desire to make people happy was a more subtle (mental?) pattern. The pattern of being fixated on the result of all my actions. I further realised that this "result fixation" can also affect the quality of the action itself. Indeed, when I cook for "important" people, I am more stressed and often end up messing up recipes that I make really well on other days. The anticipation/expectation of a (good) result can also affect creativity, and in the long run, enthusiasm to perform the action in the first place.

Photo (left): Serving dinner with Guruji in the European Art of Living Center, Bad Antogast, Germany with (dis)passionate enthusiasm (December, 2009)


It is no wonder that ancient texts (such as the Bhagavad Gita) say that man has right over his actions alone, and not over the fruit of his actions. So we have to do Karma (i.e. action, according to our Dharma) and not worry about the Phala (fruit/result). So 100% enthusiastic action aimed at benefiting anyone is an end in itself, notwithstanding whether or not people actually benefit/appreciate or become happy. Guruji also says that dispassion does not mean disinterest. In fact, dispassion brings with it endless enthusiasm. How true! When I cook without worrying about how the dish will taste or whether people will like it, I fearlessly experiment, enjoy the process and also enjoy what ever the result is :)

Wishing everyone in the world, happy and enthusiastic dispassion in what ever they do :)

Today's dispassion enhancing recipe: Pumpkin-Lentil Soup

Ingredients
1/2 Pumpkin (chopped)
1 cup yellow lentils (eg Mung)
1 inch piece of ginger (grated)
1 tablespoon butter
Salt to taste
Pepper to taste or 1 chopped green chili (optional)

Method
Wash the lentils well in cool water (2-3 times)
Cook in a pressure cooker or on the stove, till soft and mushy
Add the chopped pumpkin to the lentils and cook for 10 more minutes or till soft (if using pressure cooker, one whistle is enough)
Remove the pumpkin-lentil mix from fire and add ginger, butter, salt and pepper (or green chili) and blend together using a hand held blender or regular milk shake mixer till all the ingredients are well blended to form the desired soupy consistency.
Serve immediately
Goes really well with Lemon Rice (Recipe soon to come)

Everybody's Indispensable!

There's a famous idiom: Nobody's indispensable. I always found this idiom somewhat odd. Something in me always said the opposite - everyone is important in some way or the other... so in a way, nobody is dispensable!

I guess because of idioms such as these (and of course due to several other reasons), on bad days, we sometimes lose the sense of self worth. On terrible days, we might also feel truly "good for nothing!" Another flavor that this thought process takes is "I am not doing enough" or "my role is insignificant." In recent times, I have often caught myself thinking: I wish the world would use me more for what ever needs to be done in this world! I also get caught up in comparisons - so and so is working so hard and doing so much for society! Why am I not like them? How come I do so little for my society!? :(

A few days ago, as I was cooking away (as usual) in my kitchen (I was cooking Gobi ki sabji), I saw the salt lying next to the cauliflower and thought - what if the salt were to start wanting to be used in the quantity in which the cauliflower is being used in the recipe?? Everyone would go to bed hungry, or, in the least, not enjoy the meal one bit! :) On the other hand, if the salt were to be not used at all, we'd have a similar result.

I then looked at all the other small bits of spices that were patiently awaiting their turn to be used (see photo left) and realised that in the larger (Divine) plan, we are all playing very important roles. Just like the small spoonful of mustard seeds makes the whole difference to the taste of the Carrot Toran, each of us is indispensable in the larger plan. An expert knows what ingredient is missing from a recipe and what ingredient is needed in what quantity to make the perfect dish. Similarly, nature, divinity, the supreme organising power, God, the enlightened master (Guru) or the ultimate expert (what ever you believe in or like to think of it) know just exactly how and when to "use" us, for what purpose and in what quantity, to accomplish the larger goal(s) of existence. All we have to do is be available and willing. (Guruji says that existence is moving from one level of perfection to another :D).

Yesterday, another thought hit me... while the cauliflower is used in a huge quantity for just one (or a few) recipes, the salt and several of the spices, are used in small quantities, but in almost ALL recipes :) and each one (no matter how "small") is indispensable in making the perfect tasting dish!

In Ayurveda it is said that a complete meal has all 5 flavors: Salty, bitter, pungent, astringent and sweet. For a complete life and world, we need all sorts of people - sweet ones, salty ones, bitter ones, angry (pungent) ones...

Today's multi-flavored recipe dedicated to all my past, present and future indispensable family, friends and acquaintances:

Health(ier) Stuffed Capsicum (Stuffed Shimla Mirch)(Serves 4-6)

Ingredients

1 cup Millets
3 potatoes
½ handful raisins
1 handful cashews (lightly crushed)
1 tsp garam masala
1 tsp coriander powder
½ tsp cumin powder
½ tsp turmeric powder
salt to taste
1 tsp butter
6 medium sized capsicums (use different colours)
3 tablespoons oil

Method:

Pre-heat the oven to 180 degrees Celsius.

Cut the top portions (at the 1/3rd mark) of the capsicums and empty out the “contents” of the capsicum so that there is a large hole in each. (see photo below) Replace the top (cut 1/3rd - they look like lids :D) portions on each of the corresponding "emptied out" portions of the capsicums.

In a separate (oven suitable) dish, put one table spoon oil, add a sprinkle of salt and turmeric powder and mix well. Spread it evenly in the entire oven suitable dish. Using a food brush (if available), brush some of this oil-salt-turmeric mix onto each of the capsicums (on the outside). Place the capsicums into the dish and put in the pre-heated oven. Let the capsicums cook in the oven for 20-30 mins or until they start looking wrinkled or start to turn a little brownish on some parts on the top (in the mean time, prepare the filling).

Filling:

Cook millets (with three times the amount of water). Once cooked, add the butter to it. Keep aside. (Method to cook millets - wash well several times, add three times the amount of water, a sprinkle of salt and bring the entire mix to a boil. Turn down the heat to minimum and let it simmer till all the water has evaporated (or absorbed by the millets). We do not usually cook millets in a closed container - they become too mushy - but for this recipe, it doesn't matter as we will be mashing it all up anyways :D)

Cut potatoes and (pressure) cook till soft (mashable). Mix the mashed potatoes and Millets together.

In a pan, heat 2 table spoons of oil, add all the masalas, cashews and raisins and cook on low heat till raisins look a little swollen. Mix the masala mix into the millets-potatoes mash.

Take the capsicum out of the oven, fill the filling into each capsicum, close the “lids”, and place back into the oven for 3-5 mins. Turn the heating off and let the stuffed capsicums remain in the oven till you are ready to serve them (ideally, within 10 mins thereafter)

This is a complete meal - you do not need rice or chapatis to go with it as it contains Millets and potatoes as the major carbohydrate. If you would like to make it more nutritious and balanced, replace 1 or 1.5 potatoes with cheese or paneer - this will add to the protein content of the meal. But Millets are themselves a very good source of protein.

Anger Facts # 1

As a child, I lost my temper very rarely. As I grew older and hit the teens, it became increasingly more fashionable to follow in Amitabh Bachchan's footsteps and be called the "Angry young (wo)man" and idolize James Dean to become a "Rebel without a cause." It was cool to yell and shout at everyone in general, and my parents in particular (especially my dear mom, who is a truly sweet natured and cool headed person!).

Somewhere along the way, I lost the habit (and interest) in meditation, yoga and everything to do with spirituality (remember? I was introduced to TM at the age of 11). But as mom's go (they are a skillful and patient lot who have perfected the art of striking just when the time is right), my mom skillfully got me back into yoga and meditation through one of Art of Living's advanced programs called the DSN. This was in 2002. Since then, (perhaps as a result of regular breathing exercises and meditation) slowly but surely, I have been going back to the childhood nature of hardly ever losing my temper... or so I thought until recently!

In Jan this year, came my beautiful baby daughter Meera (see picture below)

and with her came bundles of joy, laughter, tears and STRESS! Back came my old (painstakingly nurtured and developed) habit of yelling at my mom. I particularly watched (often in amazement) how easily I got annoyed at my mom in the kitchen. You see, I like my kitchen to be just as 'I' like it! "I" can create a mess but no one else is permitted to do so. Although at least some working parts of my brain told me that mom was being a sweetheart helping out so much, and I had no business to be anything but grateful, BANG came another round of bad temper, angry comments and irritated instructions! Mom, as patient as ever, never said a word in retort.

A few days ago, I was happily cooking away in my kitchen, when my (messenger from Guruji) husband came waltzing in, (in a rather good mood) and declared that he would cook lunch for us for a change. I jumped and accepted the loving suggestion. Immediately after this sweet exchange of words and looks, came several angry (and annoyed) comments from him about how messy the whole kitchen was! I was shocked and distressed and became angrier and angrier as he threw several more angry remarks and instructions at me. In sum and substance, he wanted the kitchen to be just as HE liked it. I marched out of the kitchen thinking how terrible it was that he could create a mess and clean it as and when he wanted and I was not permitted to make a mess while I so lovingly cooked for him! I would never cook for him again! >:(

As I marched out, one of the few parts of the brain still working despite the anger attack, nagged me - "isnt this exactly the way you behave with mom? Good getting a taste of your own medicine!" :(

Guruji says that we should see every situation in life (including unpleasant ones) as post meant for us being delivered by a postman (the other person in the situation, for eg the person who is scolding you). I never really understood what he meant until that morning a few days ago. My husband was only the postman - he was delivering a message meant for me - a message asking me to look at my own behavior and re-assess whether it is necessary or appropriate and how it affects people around me. Guruji also says that when we dont react to (or are unaffected by) a situation, the person who is behaving badly will realise their mistake. That my husband was just the postman became clearer to me as he dropped his anger and lovingly served lunch immediately after I walked out in a huff. I, on the other hand, held on to the anger for quite sometime as the above realization was hard (for my ego) to swallow and even harder to digest :) Once digested, it is proving to have several health benefits including more gratitude for my mom, more respect and love for my ever patient husband, and most importantly, better working brain cells :)

Today's recipes - Pitta Pacifying Shakes (to calm the angry young man or woman in you :D)

Fire extinguisher #1: Watermelon Mint Juice (For 1 serving)
Ingredients:
Two large slices of watermelon (seedless or remove as many seeds as you can) - preferably cooled overnight in the refrigerator
3-4 mint leaves
a dash of lemon juice (optional)

Method:
Blend all together in a mixer - drink immediately!

Fire extinguisher # 2: Almond-date shake (For 4 servings)
Ingredients:
60 gm almonds (soak overnight, remove skin in the morning)
800ml water (cold, perhaps refrigerated overnight if you live in a hot country)
6-8 dates (soak overnight in refrigerator, remove skin and seed)
A dash of cinnamon powder (avoid if your temper is out of control)
4 table spoons of maple syrup or Agave syrup

Method:
Put almonds, 300ml water in blender and beat thoroughly till all the almonds are fully crushed. Add the rest of the water (500ml) and beat again.
With a large sieve (with small holes), sieve the almond-water mix to remove the almond pulp. What comes out is pure home made almond milk :) (You can use the pulp in other recipes - will suggest some soon!)

Put the almond milk back in the blender (without the pulp), add the dates, cinnamon powder and maple/agave syrup and blend again - several times till the dates are almost fully "dissolved".

Pour out into glasses and serve immediately.

"Bliss comes out of chaos and the ability to enjoy chaos is enlightenment"

I am often a rather chaotic person... meaning, I do things in a rather haphazard way. To any onlooker, I will appear downright messy! But there is (sometimes) some sort of order in my chaos. Just how the chaos (or mess) affects my mind and functioning is something I realised just a few months ago... while cooking :)

I was preparing a meal for an important guest, Kashiji (visiting from India to teach a Yoga course in Munich) and several other guests - also very important - (I wasnt sure how many) who were going to accompany him and my husband back home after the yoga class. I wanted to (a) prepare several dishes, (b)make sure that they all tasted great (c) ensure that they were still warm and fresh when the guests arrived (I dont like re-heating food as I feel it kills the prana in the food) and (d) be all finished and place everything beautifully on the table before they arrived so they could eat immediately (they would, after all, be so hungry after the Yoga session!).

In my head I thought "this is nuts! How can I do all these things together? One or the other dish is bound to get cold as I would have finished preparing it first!" So I proceeded to do everything all at once! I set part of the table, cut half the veges for one dish, half for another, washed the rice, cut the rest of the veges, made the batter for the muffins, set the rice in the cooker to cook, finished cutting the rest of the veges for the 2nd dish... and so on and so on.... The kitchen looked like someone had turned it upside down. My brain might have looked the same if someone were to be able to look at it! To cut a long story short, following the utter chaos in the kitchen, a wonderful meal was ready by the time the guests arrived. While the table was not set, the kitchen was (somewhat) clean. In another 10 mins, the table was set and everyone gathered around to enjoy the food. I would like to believe that they were in bliss because of the smell and taste of the food, but I am sure it was the Yoga session with Kashiji that had them in that state already :)

This crazy chaotic session was similar to most of my cooking sessions. But for the first time I realised that this is how I deal with most of my life, including my PhD work. I try to do it all at once and end up in the midst of chaos! I told my husband this new insight into my way of working and he said... "yes, you should focus on one thing at a time." Very simple, good and practical advise - just like my husband! :) The next day, I watched myself work at my office desk. Indeed, my tendency was, again, to do half of one thing, then 1/3rd of another, 1/4th of a third thing... and so on... At that moment, my husband called me and said "this is just a friendly reminder to stay focused!" :D (yes, he is such a sweet heart! and a messenger from Guruji for sure!) I have been telling myself to finish one thing at a time at work since then and it has truly helped to keep my mind calmer at work.

A few days ago another thought hit me as I cooked. Although I am chaotic, I do finish the work and sometimes, the chaos leads to creativity... the downside is just that the chaos stresses me out. So if I am somehow able to enjoy the chaos, I can be creative, finish the work and enjoy the entire process! Perhaps I should let myself be chaotic sometimes and slowly learn the skill of enjoying the chaos... till then, maybe it is a good idea to be atleast a little systematic? Is that a good approach? Any further insights into chaos, order, creativity, bliss and the connection between these are welcome :D

Todays recipe: Carrot Coconut Toran (originally a Kerala recipe... I was never taught how to make it, but this is how I did it one fine morning and it tasted pretty good!)

Ingredients (for 4 portions):

8 carrots (shredded - using what we call in Hindi, a "kaddukas")
One handful of dried coconut flakes (or if you are have a lot of time and energy, fresh shredded coconut)
2 tsp of mustard seeds
15-20 currey leaves - chopped once or twice
1-2 dried whole red chillies (optional - avoid if u have high pitta)
1 inch piece of ginger (grated)
salt to taste
Ghee or oil to cook in

Method:

In a large frying pan, heat oil/ghee
Add the mustard seeds and wait till they splutter (do not burn!)
Reduce the flame/heat
Add curry leaves, coconut flakes, red chillies and ginger - stir it all in (20-30 secs)
Add the shredded carrot, salt - mix well (1 min)
Close the lid of the frying pan, wait for 30-40 secs and turn off the heat/flame. Let the carrots sit on the stove for 10 mins. The heat within the pan will cook the carrots just the right amount.
Serve immediately
(Goes really well with warm basmati rice.)