Anger Facts # 1

As a child, I lost my temper very rarely. As I grew older and hit the teens, it became increasingly more fashionable to follow in Amitabh Bachchan's footsteps and be called the "Angry young (wo)man" and idolize James Dean to become a "Rebel without a cause." It was cool to yell and shout at everyone in general, and my parents in particular (especially my dear mom, who is a truly sweet natured and cool headed person!).

Somewhere along the way, I lost the habit (and interest) in meditation, yoga and everything to do with spirituality (remember? I was introduced to TM at the age of 11). But as mom's go (they are a skillful and patient lot who have perfected the art of striking just when the time is right), my mom skillfully got me back into yoga and meditation through one of Art of Living's advanced programs called the DSN. This was in 2002. Since then, (perhaps as a result of regular breathing exercises and meditation) slowly but surely, I have been going back to the childhood nature of hardly ever losing my temper... or so I thought until recently!

In Jan this year, came my beautiful baby daughter Meera (see picture below)

and with her came bundles of joy, laughter, tears and STRESS! Back came my old (painstakingly nurtured and developed) habit of yelling at my mom. I particularly watched (often in amazement) how easily I got annoyed at my mom in the kitchen. You see, I like my kitchen to be just as 'I' like it! "I" can create a mess but no one else is permitted to do so. Although at least some working parts of my brain told me that mom was being a sweetheart helping out so much, and I had no business to be anything but grateful, BANG came another round of bad temper, angry comments and irritated instructions! Mom, as patient as ever, never said a word in retort.

A few days ago, I was happily cooking away in my kitchen, when my (messenger from Guruji) husband came waltzing in, (in a rather good mood) and declared that he would cook lunch for us for a change. I jumped and accepted the loving suggestion. Immediately after this sweet exchange of words and looks, came several angry (and annoyed) comments from him about how messy the whole kitchen was! I was shocked and distressed and became angrier and angrier as he threw several more angry remarks and instructions at me. In sum and substance, he wanted the kitchen to be just as HE liked it. I marched out of the kitchen thinking how terrible it was that he could create a mess and clean it as and when he wanted and I was not permitted to make a mess while I so lovingly cooked for him! I would never cook for him again! >:(

As I marched out, one of the few parts of the brain still working despite the anger attack, nagged me - "isnt this exactly the way you behave with mom? Good getting a taste of your own medicine!" :(

Guruji says that we should see every situation in life (including unpleasant ones) as post meant for us being delivered by a postman (the other person in the situation, for eg the person who is scolding you). I never really understood what he meant until that morning a few days ago. My husband was only the postman - he was delivering a message meant for me - a message asking me to look at my own behavior and re-assess whether it is necessary or appropriate and how it affects people around me. Guruji also says that when we dont react to (or are unaffected by) a situation, the person who is behaving badly will realise their mistake. That my husband was just the postman became clearer to me as he dropped his anger and lovingly served lunch immediately after I walked out in a huff. I, on the other hand, held on to the anger for quite sometime as the above realization was hard (for my ego) to swallow and even harder to digest :) Once digested, it is proving to have several health benefits including more gratitude for my mom, more respect and love for my ever patient husband, and most importantly, better working brain cells :)

Today's recipes - Pitta Pacifying Shakes (to calm the angry young man or woman in you :D)

Fire extinguisher #1: Watermelon Mint Juice (For 1 serving)
Ingredients:
Two large slices of watermelon (seedless or remove as many seeds as you can) - preferably cooled overnight in the refrigerator
3-4 mint leaves
a dash of lemon juice (optional)

Method:
Blend all together in a mixer - drink immediately!

Fire extinguisher # 2: Almond-date shake (For 4 servings)
Ingredients:
60 gm almonds (soak overnight, remove skin in the morning)
800ml water (cold, perhaps refrigerated overnight if you live in a hot country)
6-8 dates (soak overnight in refrigerator, remove skin and seed)
A dash of cinnamon powder (avoid if your temper is out of control)
4 table spoons of maple syrup or Agave syrup

Method:
Put almonds, 300ml water in blender and beat thoroughly till all the almonds are fully crushed. Add the rest of the water (500ml) and beat again.
With a large sieve (with small holes), sieve the almond-water mix to remove the almond pulp. What comes out is pure home made almond milk :) (You can use the pulp in other recipes - will suggest some soon!)

Put the almond milk back in the blender (without the pulp), add the dates, cinnamon powder and maple/agave syrup and blend again - several times till the dates are almost fully "dissolved".

Pour out into glasses and serve immediately.