"Stay with the Pinch, not with the Guilt!"

At the end of each yoga class that I teach, I read a knowledge sheet from one of Sri Sri's books titled Celebrating Silence. The page that came up recently was titled "mistakes." Sri Sri says "It is hard not to see your own mistake. Outwardly, you may justify yourself or try to prove your innocence to someone else, but a mistake pricks the conscience. Do not justify yourself. Instead, feel the prick of the mistake. That very pinch will take you out of the mistake. The pinch will not let the mistake happen again. Live with the pinch, not the guilt." This is one of my favorite knowledge sheets and as I read it out in my yoga class, I remembered fondly the first time this knowledge came alive in my life. I share with you all, this very personal story:

My uncle (Dad's youngest brother) is, by profession, a biotechnologist and an entrepreneur (rare combination in India!) - he has his own biotech research company (and is also a great cook!) In addition to these admirable qualities, another quality I admire in him a great deal is his willingness and readiness to help any and everyone - at any time and ALL the time! Amazingly, his feeling of belongingness with people is so strong that he also feels no hesitation in asking for help when he needs it - another admirable quality in my opinion, as my ego interferes way too often with my asking for help (until its too late!)

On one such occasion (when I was in my early 20s and had just started teaching the Art of Living's Youth Empowerment Seminar (YES)), my dear uncle asked for my help in modifying and improving the language of a project that he was writing for his company. This was, of course, a huge compliment to me, (had I had the maturity to realise it back then) because it suggested that he trusted and liked my language skills. Being a restless young adult however, I found this request rather annoying and very half-heartedly sat down next to the computer with him to edit the document in question. From the get go, I got irritated at the smallest mistake I found in the document. Rather impolitely, I also made this irritation very obvious! Uncle was patient for a long time... he kept listening to me and agreeing with all my suggestions without commenting at all on my behavior. Finally, after several rude noises and complaints had already come out of me, and the barrage of irritated expressions were becoming more frequent, my uncle suddenly exploded! He yelled "I don't need your help, you can leave! You think this work will not happen without your inputs? You talk great spiritual wisdom and constantly talk about how seva (service) and Karma Yoga are so important to you, yet you can't do this one small thing for your family without grumbling so rudely?"

I was shocked! Immediately, my mistake was clear to me! I could feel the pangs of deep guilt jolt through my entire being! For a moment, I was too shocked to speak! Finally, in a small voice, I said "sorry uncle, you are right. I will do the work now. Please let me." My uncle, the gracious soul that he is, immediate accepted the apology and sat back down in the chair. We resumed the work and completed it cheerfully!

While I was doing the work though (after the explosion that set my brains right), I was very aware of the discomfort that was inside my mind and body. I was also immediately reminded of Sri Sri's knowledge on mistakes (which I taught to my YES students all the time!) - "stay with the pinch, not with the guilt." The feeling of guilt was arising in my mind with several associated thoughts. "How could I behave so badly?" "I wish I had not done that!" At the same time, I felt an intense pinch (physical discomfort) at the level of my body - my throat, chest, head - they all felt this strong PINCH! "Applying" the knowledge, the best way I could imagine how, I kept taking my mind away from the guilty thoughts to the pinch I felt in my body. As I observed this pinch, it somehow seemed to intensify and become clearer... The thoughts associated with guilt started fading into the background somewhere and my mind focused more and more on just the physical discomfort. "Oh God!" I thought, "I never want to feel this kind of pinch EVER again!" From that day on, without any effort, I never felt irritated on receiving any work given to me by my uncle (or any other family member I think!?). Perhaps because at a very sub-conscious level, I never wanted to feel that pinch again! :)

Over the years I've noticed that when I go on a guilt trip, I learn nothing. Because one cannot blame oneself for too long - the guilt eventually turns into blame leveled at the other... and when this happens, it is the end of my learning from the mistake. Sri Sri's knowledge sheet on mistakes has several other beautiful suggestions and useful observations - and I have had the good fortune of being able to use these several times in my life so far!!! More stories coming soon... :)

Today's guilt free recipe: Dal Tadka

Ingredients (for 4 to 6 servings)

2 cups yellow mung beans - washed well and soaked in 5 times the quantity of water for 3-4 hours
4 tablespoons cooking oil
15-20 fresh curry leaves - chopped into 2 or 3 pieces each
2 tomatoes - chopped
1.5 inch piece of fresh ginger - grated
1.5 tsp cumin seeds
1/3 or 1/2 tsp red chili powder (or 1 or 2 green chilies - chopped)
1 tsp turmeric powder (curcuma)
1.5 tsp coriander powder
1/4 tsp Hing (Asafoetida) powder
7-8 Fresh coriander leaves to garnish
Salt to taste

Method

Drain the water from the pre-soaked mung beans and add fresh water upto about half inch above the level of the lentils. Cook in the pressure cooker for 3 whistles or if you have the type of pressure cookers we have in Germany, keep for 5-6 minutes on the flame and then let the pressure release at its own speed. In short, cook till the lentils are soft! (If you don't have a pressure cooker, you can soak the mung beans overnight, use twice the quantity of water, and slow cook in a closed vessel - this will take about 20-30 minutes once the water comes to a boil).

Once the lentils are cooked, add the ginger and salt to it and set aside in a closed container.

In a small frying pan or tadka pan, warm up the oil. Add the cumin seeds. Once the seeds start sizzling a bit (do not burn them!) add all the spice powders (and the green chilies). Stir on low heat for 20-30 seconds. Add the curry leaves and stir again for 15-20 seconds. Add the chopped tomatoes, stir, and let cook covered for 2-3 minutes (or till the tomatoes are soft). Transfer the entire spice mix into the lentils, stir quickly to let the aroma spread throughout the lentils. Garnish with fresh coriander leaves and serve immediately with fresh Basmati rice, lemon rice or Rotis :)

Finding the "Switch"

My current favorite book is titled "Stumbling into Infinity" written by Michael Fischman about his experiences on the spiritual path, particularly his time with the Transcendental Meditation group and later with the Art of Living Foundation and HH Sri Sri Ravi Shankar. There were so many "wow" moments in the book that I cannot write them all out in this blog... But one (of the numerous) rather practical tips I came across was related to Michael's experience in India where he thought that no one in the Ashram was answering his questions because he was a foreigner. When Michael complained to Sri Sri about this, he just smiled and took Michael through a rather peculiar exercise of turning off a light bulb that was beaming directly into Sri Sri's eyes. Micheal was unable at first to turn off the light even though he thought he had tried all (four) switches. Guruji kept saying "you missed the switch!" After several attempts, finally, Micheal "found the switch." Although rather cryptic, Micheal got the message (albeit after a few hours of pondering) - in order to "make" people listen, he needed to make a "switch" in his own mind - namely, stop thinking that people were not listening to him because he was a foreigner! I could immediately relate to the story...

During my (endless) studies as a law student, I often had to conduct interviews and field studies and my approach was always laced with a conviction that no one in India would really answer my questions because (1) I am a girl and (2) I am an Indian! In accordance with this conviction, I did indeed get a lukewarm reception and response in most of my interviews in India. Reading Michael's story in the book, I thought - "Aha! I need to make a switch in my own mind!" I started talking to myself - "Maybe this conviction in my mind is baseless! Why should people not listen to me or answer my questions on these meaningless grounds?" But I was at a complete loss on how exactly to go about actually making this switch... there isn't really a switch that we can turn on and off in our own minds you know!! So how exactly does this knowledge function??

As I do when any such (spiritual) question confuses me, I mulled over it for several days... finally, I gave up and wrote a long letter to Guruji explaining my mental condition. Thereafter, I kind of forgot about it all and just went about doing all that was necessary to prepare for the field trip to India. I reached India as planned and started the seemingly endless rounds of interviewing people from one city to the next. When I was near the end of perhaps the 10th one, the senior gentleman I was interviewing said rather forthrightly... "We are helping you only because you are one of us, an Indian. We would not have entertained any foreign student if he/she were to ask for such detailed opinions!" While outwardly smiling and saying "thank you," from the inside, I was jolted and suddenly remembered my question: "How to make the switch?" I realised that without actually DOING anything, the switch had already happened! The thought that people would not answer my questions had not crossed my mind at all through out the trip! Indeed, all the interviews had been so fruitful, informative and detailed! The people were welcoming, friendly and more than helpful! How had the "switch" happened?? As I thought in amazement about this, I remembered one of the things that Sri Sri says often... Our own awareness is the first step towards overcoming any short comings and unwanted tendencies, habits and concepts. Once we become aware, most of the job is done! The key role played by spiritual practices (meditation, breathing techniques, yoga etc.) in our life, is to enhance this very awareness. In my experience, what ever the other steps are, all happen automatically, or maybe at a very subtle and unconscious level!

My husband was recently listening to a talk on the "Power of Intention" by Dr. Wayne Dyer. As the topic sounded interesting, I decided to listen for a while also... Dr. Dyer quoted several wonderful sentences from various spiritual, scientific and religious texts and paraphrased a lot of it as follows: "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change!" The phrase reminded me of my above experiences in India :) The talk (at least the first 20 mins or so that I heard) as well as the book are amazing! I'll leave you to discover the other treasures therein, on your own!

In the mean time, here is today's recipe, breaking through all concepts of what should or should not go into a muffin :D

Everything Muffins

Dry Ingredients:
1 cup Buckwheat Flour
1 cup whole brown rice flour
1/2 to 2/3 cup whole wheat or other flour
1 tsp baking powder
1 tsp baking soda
1/3 tsp salt (unless the lentils/chickpeas below are salted, in which case, skip the salt)
2/3 tsp cinnamon powder


Wet ingredients
1 cup brown sugar/agave syrup/maple syrup (you can also skip this and use an additional banana instead)
2 or 3 very very ripe bananas
2/3 cup silken tofu
1 cup left over lentils, chickpeas or any other dal from the previous meal (you may wash away any extra masala from the chickpeas if you like)
2/3 cup oil or butter
2/3 to 1 cup assorted nuts and raisins (crush the nuts into desired size - I chose to grind them to powder)
1/3 cup milk/soya milk/almond milk, or apple juice
1 tsp vanilla

Veges and Fruits
1 whole apple or carrot - grated
1 whole zucchini (or any other vegetable) - grated


Method

Pre-heat the oven to 180° C. Place the muffin cups into the muffin tray or grease the muffin tray and set aside.

Mix all the dry ingredients really well.
Separately, mix all the wet ingredients - you can use a blender if you like, but do not blend for more than a minute.

Pour the wet ingredient mix into the dry ingredients and mix using a wooden spatula till smooth. Add the Veges and Fruits and mix well again.


The batter should be thick and difficult to handle and not of pouring consistency. (But not like cookie dough or dough for bread or rotis - if it is this thick, add some more milk/juice/water). Scoop out by spoonfuls into the muffin tray, filling each muffin cup till the very top. Bake in the oven for 25-30 minutes or till a knife inserted in the middle comes out clean. Makes 12 large muffins.


Serve warm with butter or marmalade :)

PS: Although it may seem like these will be really strange tasting muffins, they are actually really tasty and of course, nutritious - with whole grains, fruits, vegetables and lots of protein. My daughter who had been fussing and refusing to eat anything solid, ate three of these muffins in one day very happily! :)

Anger Facts # 2

The story goes that when Guruji heard the phrase “million dollar smile” he asked, "why should a smile be so expensive?" He said smiles should be given away for nothing. Anger, on the other hand, should be very expensive (i.e. expressed very rarely) for only then is it valuable. If our anger is cheap (i.e. frequent), no one will take it seriously. It will at best be an annoyance and at worse, the person expressing it will be labeled “short tempered” and “to be avoided!”

As I said in one of my older posts (Anger Facts # 1), as a child, I rarely lost my temper. In those days, I remember that when once every few months or so, I got really angry and blew my lid, everyone around me sat up in attention – the anger was noticed and the reason why it surfaced was investigated closely. Most of the time, my expression of anger solved the problem that caused it to come up. Later during my teens and early 20s, when it became “fasionable” to be angry all the time, no one took my anger seriously at all. My closest friends in law school just termed me “moody” and despite my yelling at a situation over and over again, the situation didn’t change at all! It was only after a few months of regular meditation and yoga that I realized as an experience that anger when expressed constantly, loses its oomph and its power to reform (people or situations).

But anger is also an amazing thing in many ways. Guruji makes a beautiful distinction between “getting angry” and “showing” anger. In the former, our entire being is shaken by the anger – it is often also coupled with hatred or irritation at the level of the heart. Anger of the latter kind, i.e. anger that is just shown, is a more superficial anger – it is expressed in order to achieve a purpose but is not felt at the heart level. The heart is pure and untouched by the anger and instead, such anger is expressed out of love and concern for the person to whom it is shown. A classical example would be the anger expressed by a mother towards a child who is taking her hand towards fire. First the mom will say “don’t do that… you’ll get burnt.” Eventually, if the child persists in trying to touch fire, the mother will give the child a scolding (or even a slightly sharp rap on the hand as an evil lesser than a burnt hand) showing great anger, but at the level of the heart feeling only love and concern for the child. Such a showing of anger doesn’t affect the whole human system in a negative way, but is short lived and dies immediately. Showing anger, in short, is OK and even necessary in many situations. But getting angry… well… in my experience it helps no one.

My baby girl is an expert at recognizing the different types of anger :D When I am just showing anger (which I do sometimes in order to prevent her from eating all types of stuff off the floor for example), she realizes immediately that she is doing something that’s forbidden for her own good. So she stops what she’s doing, looks and me and immediately raises her arms up, asking me to pick her up – its like her way of saying sorry, I accept my mistake, lets be friends again now :D When I am really angry and annoyed at anyone or anything, on the other hand, she just gets confused and starts crying loudly. She wants me nowhere near her, she runs instead to papa :)

Blessed are those who can distinguish between the two types of anger! Accepting the love and concern shown as anger for our own good and ignoring the other type, especially if expressed too often!

Today's recipe: Baingan ka Bharta

Note: This recipe is not recommended for you if you have high pitta (example, if you are a person prone to getting angry rather often :D). Also, Aubergine (Baingan) is a highly tamasic vegetable/fruit (i.e. might make you dull and sleepy). If you are having trouble sleeping, it will therefore of course likely help you a great deal! Finally, I rarely use onions in my cooking (because it is highly rajasic). The original Baingan Ka Bharta made Punjabi style uses a whole lot of onions... Apples, as used in this recipe, are a great satvik substitute for onions and will (hopefully) help reduce the tamasic quality of this dish!

Ingredients (for 3-4 people)

4 large aubergines (Eggplants)
1 large apple
2 large tomatoes
1.5 cups green peas
1/2 tsp lemon juice
Salt to taste
1 1/4 tsp Coriander powder
1/2 tsp Turmeric (Haldi) powder
1.5 tsp Garam Masala (you can buy it in any Indian store, or can just take some from me :D)
1 green chilli (optional) - chopped (Avoid if you have high pitta)
1.5 inch piece of Ginger - grated
3 tablespoons cooking oil
8-10 Fresh Coriander leaves - chopped

Method
Pre-heat the oven to 180° C
Put the aubergines in the oven and bake till the inside is soft and the outside is charred or easy to remove (will take about 30-40 mins). Those of you who have the good old stoves with real fire, just place the aubergines one at a time directly on the flame, rotating it periodically till the outside skin is totally charred and the inside is soft.

Remove the aubergines from the oven and let them cool down. Once cool, peel off the skin and throw it away.


Chop up or mash the flesh of the aubergines well. Add salt, Garam masala and grated ginger to the mashed aubergine and mix well. Keep aside in a closed dish.

Chop the apple and the tomatoes into small pieces. Heat oil in a large pan and add the chopped apples. When the apples are half cooked, add all the spices (Haldi, Coriander, green chilies) and the tomatoes and cook on medium heat for 2 minutes stirring with a light hand so that all the spices are properly mixed with the apples and the tomatoes. Add the peas and stir again. Place the lid on the pan and let cook for another 8-10 minutes (or till the peas are cooked) on low heat. Once the peas are cooked, add the mashed aubergine and mix well. Add more salt if needed as per your taste. Once again place the lid on the pan and let cook for 5-6 minutes. Remove from the heat, and put into a serving dish. Mix in the lemon juice and sprinkle the chopped Koriander leaves on top just before serving.

Goes best with fresh home made chapatis! :)