The Beauty of Belonging'ness'

It was the year 1998. I was in the first year of law school. The law school is located in a far away village area of India. As I walked from the school to my student hostel one afternoon, I heard an old lady waving and calling out to me. When I walked to her, she told me to lift a large basket full of cow dung that was lying on the ground and place it on her head (it was dry cow dung - just in case you are wondering, :) dried cow dung is used as cooking fuel in rural India and is carried home in baskets placed on the head from the farms where it is left to dry. See picture below)

Just how heavy these baskets are, I realized for the first time that day as I lifted it up with the old lady's help. As soon as the basket was stable on her head, she walked away. So did I, feeling very happy within me for getting an opportunity to help someone. After several minutes of enjoying that feeling, it struck me that the lady had not said a word of thanks (or any word at all) after I helped her! In fact, she had not even requested help - she just told me to place the basket on her head - it was clearly too heavy for her to lift up herself. What was even more amazing was that I did not expect a "thank you" from her - it didn't matter! The opportunity to help was in itself my reward as it left me feeling happy.

In one of the knowledge series, Sri Sri talks about how a baby doesn't feel grateful for all the love and caring that the mother showers on her. She takes it for granted because she feels a complete and total belonging and connection with the mother - when food is needed, it will be given and has to be given :). When couples do the chores in their homes or together carry the grocery bags from the car to the apartment, they do not feel a sense of gratitude towards one another - this is just the done thing and they feel happy doing things together. The closer we are to people and the more we consider them to be part of us, the lesser will be our hesitation to ask for and accept help. The more will be the ease with which we offer help, without expecting anything in return - not even a "thanks".

More recently, as I was going through a period of bad health, the above incident from 1998 came back to me. I remembered how the old lady had asked for the help she needed with such a high degree of belonging that she did not feel the need to say "thank you" and I didn't expect or miss these words of formality. The memory came to me almost as a moment of "revelation" as I realized how much my ego prevented me from asking people for help. I complained endlessly about how the elevator at the U Bahn was not working just when I was feeling so tired and unwell. It was so difficult to get my 2 year old (paced comfortably in the kinderwagon/pram) up and down from U Bahn station using the stairs. Yet, I was more willing to suffer this hardship than ask someone for help! In other words, I was more willing to suffer physical pain than the pain of a punctured ego! Yet, the fact is that people are not just willing, but happy to help.

In another meeting recently, Sri Sri, while answering a question (which I do not remember) from the audience, asked: "If you see that a person on the street needs some kind of help, will you not go and help them? Yes, of course you would. Then what makes you think that others will not be willing to help you?" We forget that others are not different from us - everyone wants to be helpful. We are all raised that way. Having faith in the goodness of those around us and feeling one with them is the key to spirituality - and that is what we call the "feeling of belonging," or simply "belongingness." And it is beautiful! :)

Today's beautiful recipe: Paalak Paneer (Spinach with Indian Cheese)

Ingredients

750 grams fresh spinach
500 grams home made Indian cheese (Paneer) - see Paneer recipe here
2 tablespoons cooking oil
1.5 tsp Coriander Powder
1 tsp cumin seeds
1-2 green chillies (optional) - slit open from the middle and cut into large pieces
2 Tablespoons fresh cream or soy cream
1 inch piece of fresh ginger - grated
Salt to taste

Method

Wash the spinach really well. Stem cook it or cook it in boiling water till it can be mashed easily (7-9 minutes of steaming should be adequate). Put the steamed/cooked spinach with 1/2 to 1 cup of the water into a high speed blender and beat to a smooth thickish liquid. (You can add more or less water depending on how thick you like the spinach in the dish to be). Set aside.

Cut the Paneer (Indian Cheese) into large cubes. In a large frying pan (a non-stick one would be best), warm the oil and add the cumin seeds. When the seeds start sizzling, add the coriander powder and green chillies. Reduce the heat to half and stir for a minute. Put the paneer in and mix well so the spices quote the paneer cubes evenly. Add the salt and stir well again. Turn the heat to minimum and place the lid on the frying pan. After 2-3 minutes, turn the paneer over to make sure that none of it is stuck to the pan or over cooked. Add the steamed/pureed spinach and grated ginger mix well. Once again place the lid on the frying pan and let cook on low heat for 2 minutes. Turn off the heat and remove the lid from the pan. Add the cream/soy cream on top just before serving.

Tastes amazing with steamed rice or Indian bread.