Dispassionate Enthusiasm (Why do I love cooking?)

As is clear from my blog, I love cooking. However, over the past couple of weeks, the question "why do I love cooking?" has been coming back to my mind repeatedly. Several answers also suggested themselves to me: because its fun, its a creative outlet, it makes my mind come to the present moment, it is relaxing etc. etc. While all these (answers) seemed, at least to some extent, true, they were not making the question go away. And so I kept thinking and perhaps contemplating again and again - why do I love cooking? On the lovely Saturday morning last week, a new answer came to me - I love coking because I can see the results immediately! I can taste the food, smell it, see the expression on people's faces when they eat it, immediately get feedback either on how much they love the food or how to improve the recipe. What ever be the result, there was for sure an immediate tangible result - either praise or a concrete suggestion to improve (If people did not voluntarily give feedback, I could always fish it out of them with a simple question - "Did you like the food?" :D). So was the expectation or certainty of a (positive) result the reason for my love of cooking? I told myself that at the end of the day (to put all these complex thoughts in a simple way), I just like making people happy :) and thats not a bad thing at all... so what ever be the reason why I love cooking, I should just keep doing it and keep making people happy! :) Following this train of thought, I sternly put the question "Why do I love cooking" out of my mind and continued dreaming up a new recipe in the kitchen.

On Sunday, after a long relaxing day next to the beautiful Ostersee near Munich, for no good reason, I felt a little low on prana (Sanskrit for "subtle life force energy"). As is always the case, with the low prana, came several unnecessary negative thoughts. I started questioning the things I do and whether I do them well enough and most importantly, is there any point to my doing them? What is the result of all my actions? Am I an "effective" person? Are my actions effective (in achieving the desired outcome)? Am I skillful enough? Is my PhD going anywhere? Am I a good wife, mom and daughter? Am I a good enough Yoga teacher? If I am a good teacher, why arent people regular in attending the classes?

My (messenger from Guruji) husband, immediately noticed my abnormal mood (even though I had said nothing... or perhaps BECAUSE I was saying nothing for a change ;D). He asked very lovingly as usual - "Are you feeling OK? Whats on ur mind" After a few half-hearted attempts at not telling him, I finally dove full swing into my "self-pity" monologue telling him how I felt I was a totally ineffective person who is most often unable to accomplish desired goals. He listened very carefully to my moaning and sobbing and then said - "well, this is just not true! You are very effective and good at everything you do. Your only problem is that you want results immediately and are perhaps too output oriented." He reminded me of one of spirituality's golden principles - dispassion! He said, "you know, Guruji says that while we should be enthusiastic in our actions (and give our 100% to everything we do), we must be dispassionate about the fruits of our actions. So just remind yourself over and over again - dispassion is the key." :)

This little reminder from my hubby dear of a simple yet profound truth immediately made my mind calmer. Interestingly, the question that had gripped my mind came immediately back - why do I love cooking? Perhaps because of the knowledge capsule I had just consumed, the answer I had dismissed the previous day acquired a new meaning - I cook to make people happy and this is not bad at all... but under this desire to make people happy was a more subtle (mental?) pattern. The pattern of being fixated on the result of all my actions. I further realised that this "result fixation" can also affect the quality of the action itself. Indeed, when I cook for "important" people, I am more stressed and often end up messing up recipes that I make really well on other days. The anticipation/expectation of a (good) result can also affect creativity, and in the long run, enthusiasm to perform the action in the first place.

Photo (left): Serving dinner with Guruji in the European Art of Living Center, Bad Antogast, Germany with (dis)passionate enthusiasm (December, 2009)


It is no wonder that ancient texts (such as the Bhagavad Gita) say that man has right over his actions alone, and not over the fruit of his actions. So we have to do Karma (i.e. action, according to our Dharma) and not worry about the Phala (fruit/result). So 100% enthusiastic action aimed at benefiting anyone is an end in itself, notwithstanding whether or not people actually benefit/appreciate or become happy. Guruji also says that dispassion does not mean disinterest. In fact, dispassion brings with it endless enthusiasm. How true! When I cook without worrying about how the dish will taste or whether people will like it, I fearlessly experiment, enjoy the process and also enjoy what ever the result is :)

Wishing everyone in the world, happy and enthusiastic dispassion in what ever they do :)

Today's dispassion enhancing recipe: Pumpkin-Lentil Soup

Ingredients
1/2 Pumpkin (chopped)
1 cup yellow lentils (eg Mung)
1 inch piece of ginger (grated)
1 tablespoon butter
Salt to taste
Pepper to taste or 1 chopped green chili (optional)

Method
Wash the lentils well in cool water (2-3 times)
Cook in a pressure cooker or on the stove, till soft and mushy
Add the chopped pumpkin to the lentils and cook for 10 more minutes or till soft (if using pressure cooker, one whistle is enough)
Remove the pumpkin-lentil mix from fire and add ginger, butter, salt and pepper (or green chili) and blend together using a hand held blender or regular milk shake mixer till all the ingredients are well blended to form the desired soupy consistency.
Serve immediately
Goes really well with Lemon Rice (Recipe soon to come)